This visit home was all I needed to make perfect sense of my life. When I was at college I was so miserable in my head but really I wasn’t. I am more than happy to have met all the people I have and to be doing something for me and only me. I missed my family and all the wonders San Diego has to offer but I realized I am growing up. It’s kind of like living in a dorm is like being at camp and I finally got home. Well, this isn’t camp and I truly have been working hard to keep my grades up. I realized that love is something that is forever. Forever as in it is always within you but not as in it lasts forever. Maybe one day I will find that but I was surely mistaken before. I lost who I was just for a feeling of being loved. I found myself again in college and it turned out I wasn’t liked for who I was. Given, college did change me quite a bit. I never really cared what people thought and you would know this if you know me personally but secretly I was eating myself up inside. Now, I just don’t give a fuck. I know who I am, what I like, and what I want. Nothing else matters to me right now. I want to find that one thing that really catches my interest. I want to care about something that will treat me right. I deserve the world and I know that. No more playing with boys hearts and leading people on. I am a selfish person, I know this. Eventually I’ll grow out of it but for now I think it’s okay. I know right from wrong and I think that’s good enough. I am forever excited for future, don’t let me down.

Tonight I went to a dance performance at my school and it was beautiful. Just watching people so into something is a site that it priceless. It just makes me wonder how hard they work. I could no way remember all those dance moves. It made my mind wonder of what kind of things they also do to prepare. All the costumes were just so interesting. I was curious why they were wearing certain things at times.

There was one portion that was focused on using voice and I found it to be the most interesting part. It was weird and made no sense at first but as time went by I started to appreciate and connect the meanings to the dance moves. I never really thought about this even though singing and dance moves go together.

This was just a good experience and I think that if you have the chance you should check out a dance performance. Even if it's little kids dancing, there is still meaning behind everything.

I made it.

I made it a whole semester without going home. Respectively, it will be right before the semester ends but what it ten more days being at school until I leave again for winter break. I am more than excited that I get to go home in 11 days. I am so excited to see my parents, my brother, my sister, my nephew, my niece, and my friends. More than anything I am very proud of myself. Everyone told me I'd be crying to go home and I couldn't handle being away from home. I must admit I did complain to my parents about various things throughout this time but never did I cry and I say I need to go home. Sometimes it would have been nice to see my family but I am just fine. I appreciate them a lot more now. Plus I don't think I've ever been excited to see them. So yay to me for making it this far and staying strong like I knew I could.

My parents broke the news to my little brother and I that they might but down one of our dogs today. Apparently he is sick and can't move. It's selfish but I wish they would wait till I go home so I can say bye to him. I love that dog more than anything. I love brushing his hair and trying to hug him since I know he hates it. I just want to see him again. Well until further notice I'm not too sure what is happening.

Las Vegas Casinos Ignore Bans on Smoking

This article caught my eye since when I go to Vegas the smoke just overwhelms me. I don't feel like eating the whole time I'm there and I often get a head ache. Personally, I am not one for banning smoking since it is up to the individual and I feel that smoking in casinos has became some what of a tradition. Although it does cause second hand smoke and can effect others, I feel that if it bothers you that much it is your option to stay.

Casinos in Las Vegas refuse to ban smoking in their buildings. Although the city had voted to ban smoking, the casinos still feel that they shouldn't have to. For one, banning smoking would cause them to lose business. Two, it's Vegas and people usually do things they wouldn't when they are home. The article speaks of different hotels and how there are people smoking in all of them. This is true and most people will know this as well. And despite the hazards and how harmful it is to themselves, they seem happy as can be.

It's sin city, let them do what they want.


NAGOURNEY, ADAM. "As Last Bastion for Smokers, Las Vegas Casinos Ignore Trend - NYTimes.com." The New York Times - Breaking News, World News & Multimedia. N.p., n.d. Web. 11 Nov. 2010. .

It started on a summer day
two kids just looking for the next best thing
a spark, a shine, a warmth hotter than the sun
When you asked me to be yours,
I gave you my heart and asked you to keep it safe

Minutes turned into hours
so interested in each other, eager to know more
a secret, a smile, a kiss
I told you I loved you
and you turned into a 12 year old boy

Days turned to months
the seasons changed and the bond grew strong
a bestfriend, a lover, a soul mate
You promised me forever
and I liked that idea more than anything

Month after month time flew by
time for departure, tears flowing down our cheeks
a please don't leave , a it's okay babe, a see you later
We knew everything would be okay
We knew we could work it out

It ended in the fall
two broken hearts lost and all alone
a phone call, a shout, an empty space
You said it was what I wanted
when all I wanted was you

Minutes turned into hours
Days turned to months
Month after month after month
an occasional tear, a bad feeling, a desire
You broke your promise
and now I'm forever hurt

This weekend was a very lazy one. I really didn't feel like doing much of anything. This made me realize I need some sort of hobby. I mean I love to play soccer and that has always been my thing but I haven't played since my season ended in February of this year. It's been a long time and I don't even think that is my hobby anymore. I feel I need to do something that is outside though. I was thinking about riding my bike more but I am not a fan of hills and there sure are a lot of those here. So scratch that from the list too. My friend and I made a pack to go to the gym and workout every Tuesday since we get out of class early, which is good but it is only one day a week. I just need to find something that is my calling. I'm just not sure what that is yet. This also makes me wonder about self discovery. I really don't even know what I like as a person yet. I am not even sure who I am and what I honestly want to do with my life. There are so many things I want to do I am just not sure as to how to go about with them. I just need some inspiration.

Giants Parade

I had a long day yesterday. I went to the Giants Parade with my friends and there were so many people, a lot more people than I ever expected. It took quite awhile for us to find parking and we ended up parking in this sketchy park garage. We started by walking down the street and decided to walk down to the actual parade. There were so much orange and black. I was surprised that we could barely walk through the people. Of course we ended up in a traffic jam. We decided to walk out the opposite way. Finally we decided to go to City Hall. We waited in City Hall to see the players and of course they acted like people weren’t screaming for them, let alone, even there. I would have thought the players would have been all hyped up. I mean these are their dedicated fan that are screaming for them. Typical, I guess. I personally am not a Giants fan and don’t really follow baseball but it’s cool to just see a bunch of happy, weed smoking, drunk, naked babies, old women, and cool people just all together for one thing. It was a good experience.

Europe’s Plagues Came From China, Study Finds

This article is talking about plagues. The Black Death is one that I have learned about before in Big History and it contains a bacterium that is called Yersinia pestis. This disease, the Black Death, was something that wiped out 30 percent or more of Europe's population. The Great Plague was another that was mentioned and that happened in London. This disease was spread from rats and fleas. The article goes on to talk about Yersinia pestis and how it sure is the bacterium that caused all the deaths of the Black Death and how it is found in China still to this day.

Just thinking about these large plagues makes me wonder what would happen if today there was a new epidemic. I remember when swine flu was brought to attention and the commotion it caused. It is kind of a scary thought to think of how bacteria can kill off so many people even though they are so small.

WADE, NICHOLAS. "Europe's Plagues Came From China, Study Finds - NYTimes.com." The New York Times - Breaking News, World News & Multimedia. N.p., n.d. Web. 3 Nov. 2010. .